Wednesday, December 30, 2009 — 4:53 p.m. — 28.4°F

Above: Abdulmutallab is detained onboard Flight 253. Below: The remains of the bomb-implanted underwear.
When the PETN device carried on Northwest flight 253 to Detroit did not perform as its courier intended, the primary result was that Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab fried his own gonads instead of blowing a jetliner out of the sky. The safe landing of the flight can be attributed to luck as well as perfect responses by some of the intended victims on board. After all, while the device, for whatever reason, did not detonate as intended, it still caused a fire, which is itself a major threat to an airplane. Quick and correct reactions by passengers and crew prevented the situation from escalating into a full-scale catastrophe.
Responses varied after the near-miss. Most citizens of the world shuddered at the thought of how closely a disaster was averted, and breathed a huge collective sigh of relief for this Christmas miracle, before turning to examining how Abdulmutallab was allowed to be in a position to initiate his attack. Some opponents of President Obama, while probably also truly thankful the bombing was unsuccessful, immediately saw and acted on what they perceived as an opportunity to score political points. A few terrorists and their sympathizers were probably outright disappointed at the device’s failure. And then there’s ex-Vice President Richard Cheney.

Would you buy a used car from this Dick?
Cheney, whose parents showed incredible foresight almost 70 years ago when they first called him “Dick”, came very close to receiving the Christmas present of his life this year. While his apologists might react with mock rage and scoff at such an assertion, I have no doubt that Cheney has been down on his knees every night since Obama took office, praying for a major blow of some sort that he could lay at Obama’s feet while dancing around in glee singing “I told you so! I told you so!” Rush Limbaugh only wants Obama to fail at all of his policies. Dick Cheney is looking for something more.

"We did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush's term." --Dana Perino, one of Cheney's bootlickers.
For Cheney, the occurrence of a major jet bombing would be the perfect next step in his mission to portray Obama’s policies as dangerous. As a reinforcing tactic, Cheney continues to offer and promote himself as the ultimate defender of the country. Of course, to do so requires rewriting a fair amount of history, but Cheney has sycophants to assist with that, such as when DUHbya’s ex-Press Secretary Dana Perino recently asserted “We did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush’s term.” Casually mutter a whopper like that two or three times, and the next thing you know it’s part of Sarah Palin’s regular speeches. Once that happens, 26% of the population agrees that Cheney is America’s White Knight in Shining Armor. Emphasis on the “white”.
Today Cheney issued a statement in which he bloviated about, among other things, Obama’s “low key” response to the attempt to blow up Flight 253. This being Cheney, by “low key” he probably means the passing of 5 days since the incident without yet invading Nigeria.
Cheney has another goal besides damaging Obama, and that’s saving his own bacon, or at least his own reputation. Scooter Libby may have taken the fall and protected his boss from any personal legal repercussions, but Dick’s still looking for ways to justify the use of various illegal and unconstitutional practices and policies employed during his tenure as Bush’s henchman. Invoking the logical fallacy of causation vs. correlation before the correlating event has even occurred, Cheney is champing at the bit in anticipation of a chance to be able to claim that overturning some of his most cherished and questionable tactics resulted in an attack that would otherwise have been thwarted.
Let’s hope Cheney continues to be frustrated for a long time.
Updated at 10:11 p.m.: Somehow I missed this when it happened. Dana Perino isn’t the only major Bush administration official trying to help Cheney re-write history. Three days ago Mary Matalin, Dick Cheney’s former advisor, said on CNN that the Bush administration “inherited the most tragic attack on our own soil in our nation’s history.” Those based in reality will recall that the Twin Towers attacks did not occur shortly before the end of Clinton’s second term, but rather during the 8th month of Bush’s presidency. These are not simple slips of the tongue by the rightwingers, folks. This is a fascinating example of revisionism in action, with repeated statements of blatant lies in the hopes that some small percentage of the populace will eventually accept them as truths.
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